sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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