Have you finally orgasmed yet?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So much Jack, so little girl.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Couch. On fire.
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