you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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