Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
