not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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