just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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