hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
