I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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