She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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