I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
