she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
