She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
