Your dad touched me again.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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