About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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