shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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