that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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