I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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