3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
