You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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