Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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