somebody snuck up and got me drunk
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
