I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
being pregnant is like rehab
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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