Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Randomize
