Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
