Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
