The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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