In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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