whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
