White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
