I'm really into asian looking animals
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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