we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
