it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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