If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
