I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
