Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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