That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
