Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
