my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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