I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize