I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
love makes seman taste better
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
