when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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