Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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