And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
