Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
