She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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