Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
