Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
