i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
