You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
