I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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