it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Acid is not a monday night drug
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
