toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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